Act I: Verses 1 - 5
Johnny Mac needed a date for a wedding
So he turned to Mush Limpole for some vetting
I want a demure but bright lass
With big boobs and a tight ass
I'll score you some roxies for your abetting
Johnny, I haven't found any ringers
Alas with the total package, few zingers
A matronly Texan too plain
Or those Trotskyites in Maine
Where in these 48 are the right-wingers
Mush, perhaps a compromise this time
Mush, perhaps a compromise this time
The main thing is that she look fine
If cute and low in chronology
I don't care about her ideology
Damn, I don't even care about mine
Within this herd there is a dearth
But Ms Right we will unearth
We must expand our search
Who at this party would besmirch
Merely because of her place of birth
I'm overcome with a conservative vision
I hope this won't be met with your derision
I dreamed of a committee ad hoc
With me and that gal on 30 Rock
Mush, I'll create a clone by cell division!
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